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His And Her Sexual Experience
by Scott Kudia, Ph.D.—www.ScottKudia.com
A woman's sex drive is significantly affected by the events in
her life. If she hates her boss, is bored with her career, is
stressed out, or exhausted, sex won't even be an option. All
she can think about is getting home, taking a hot bath, and
going to bed.
When a man is exhausted, stressed out, hates his job, or is
frustrated with his boss, sex becomes his sleeping pill. For
him, sex is an avenue for releasing all the tensions that have
accumulated throughout his day. Often times the more stressed
out he is the more he'll want to have sex.
This is because men use sex to express physically what they
can't express emotionally. So he'll want to have sex even if
he's feeling distant, frustrated, or argumentative.
He uses sex as a stress reducer to relieve
the intensity of what he's feeling. This release
occurs via orgasm. Conversely, a woman is turned off when
she's feeling distant or irritated. Since sex is more about the
emotional connection she feels, she finds it difficult to get in
the mood when she's annoyed or exhausted.
Most women need to feel a build up of tension, just the
opposite of men. They experience this through lots of attention
and talking which is why they need a lot of foreplay. While he's
looking to blow off steam, she wants to turn up the pressure.
Remember, women are process oriented while men are goal
oriented. This means women need a slow warming through
foreplay and emotional connection while men have a goal in
mind and they intend to reach that goal as soon as possible so
they can move on to the next one.
In this regard, women are an oven; men are a microwave. She
is slow to warm and just getting started while he gets hot in
just a few seconds and is finished cooking within minutes.
Another fact that may surprise women is that men get
distracted easily. If everything is moving along and the cat
suddenly jumps on the bed it may blow his concentration
and he'll have to start all over. In order to reach orgasm he
has to concentrate on achieving his goal. Men aren't very
good at multi-tasking. They need to focus on one thing and
complete it. Only then can they move on to the next goal.
Sex is no different.
So what can we do? Men can slow down, take their time, and
focus on preheating her oven. Women should not expect to
have the candles lit, romantic music playing, and a deep,
intimate love-making sesson every time.
Understanding our differences can help make not only sex, but
our relationship better for us in the long run.
About the author:
As a bestselling author (If This Is Love, Why Am I Unhappy) and through his popular seminars, Relationship Specialist, Scott Kudia, Ph.D., has empowered thousands to overcome their obstacles and experience a better love life. Scott's innovative work combines traditional psychology with the latest cutting edge technologies giving you the power to create more fulfilling relationships. His seminars are some of the most unique and powerful relationships in the world. Scott's passionate and inspirational speaking style always leaves his audience enlightened, empowered, and thoroughly entertained. Above all, they leave with the ability to connect more deeply with their partner and ultimately get more from their relationships.
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