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How To Survive the Holidays When You're Single
by Tonja Weimer

Are you single and want to survive the holidays? Do you have a holiday party or two that you are dreading? What you need to do is b.y.o.b., which is to Bring Your Own Batteries. It is difficult to be with a lot of people without having your own energy source. And beware of the person who is needy of your battery power.

Have you ever left a conversation with someone and felt completely exhausted? Do some encounters with certain people leave you feeling weak? If you started off in a good mood, and then felt worse after your encounter, it is likely that these people are energy eaters, though they do not understand that. Some folks don't come with their own batteries, so they have to get their power from others.

All of us need to get our batteries recharged from time to time. It's easy to get worn out when you have been overbooked, had a family crisis, traveled too much, or overdone the holidays. You can especially deplete your strength when you spend an unbalanced amount of time with people or situations that are toxic to you. Having momentary power outages is understandable. But having no batteries at all is a problem.

To survive the holidays, here are some of the things that you can do at this time of year to Bring Your Own Batteries to the party:

Be your own best friend. Would you talk to your favorite person the way you talk to yourself? Listen to your inner voice. What do you say? Are you encouraging? Would you tell your best friend that their thighs are floppy and they have more than one chin? Start now to replace the inner critic with a new voice that is gentle, kind, and comforting. Remind yourself several times a day that you are a gorgeous, wonderful, incredibly talented human being.

Discover your creativity. Creativity is considered one of the most important survival strengths we have. When we are exercising our creativity, we are coming up with ideas that are original and useful. The process is invigorating. People are less creative when they work in a caustic environment. Judgment and criticism also extinguish the creative spark. Supportive, casual, open, and happy places allow creativity to flourish. So strive to put yourself in a nurturing place. When you have your creative juices flowing, you are recharging your batteries.

Protect your feelings. Do not let unaware people take over or dominate your space. They may not know what they are doing, but they will just keep doing it until you draw the line. This is costly and depletes your vigor. Be clear with others about how much you can and cannot give and make your limits known. Also, develop a place that is off-limits to the outside world where you can go to restore yourself.

Wherever you find yourself, to survive the holidays, you want to be able to hold your own. The world is a b.y.o.b. (bring your own batteries) kind of a place. So, don't leave home without them.

For more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our Free Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer.

by Tonja Weimer
 
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